Living through the lens of others
It's becoming popular knowledge that the average Nigerian lacks proper comprehension skills and alongside that they lack the right knowledge and wisdom to become what they desire. Read carefully.
Hey there,
I would have sworn the only way to go on adventures is to pack a bag and travel, but recently, or at least at the time I’m writing this, I feel like I have found that that may not be the only way.
I am beginning to realise more and more that humans were not designed to isolate. So this remote work, stay on your own, only chat online dynamic that we have built for ourselves, is a flawed design and should only apply when distance is a barrier.
I have a full (busy) life.
I have managed to set my life experiences in such a way that they are diverse. Obviously, there are more things I would like to do but one thing is for sure, I am living.
I try to engage my:
Spiritual health
Physical Health
Financial health
Mental Health
and so on.
One thing that I am learning to do more these days is to prompt and have conversations with people.
In my latest adventure, instead of travelling with a packed bag, I have been privileged to travel through the thoughts and experiences of people. I have been able to experience life through the lens of a few interesting people, and have come to have new perspectives about life.
For the sake of entertaining open dialogue, here are are few perspectives that have been shared with me this week. Or at least some conclusions/insights that I have drawn from certain experiences this week:
As you grow old, you experience life more and become more risk-averse. Your belief systems (either right or wrong) solidify and become hard to change, because you have proven experiences to back them up.
Many Nigerians, including you and I live in a bubble and do not realise it. Our perspective on the actual distribution of wealth and intelligence of people in Nigeria vary depending on our bubble.
Culture forms habits that can be a dangerous trap. You can be against something and be living in it.
This is not the end of the newsletter but if you have ever been motivated, directed, or helped by a single sentence or paragraph I have written today or in the past, Subscribe for more.
These are not necessarily my opinions but they stand out enough to be considered.
As you grow old, you experience life more …
The best way to explain this is to consider 2 generations.
The older generation has lived and has had experiences that are incredibly valid, formed their belief system, and in many cases kept them alive.
The younger generation has a more fluid perspective on things and are in a phase where they are actively forming what standards to live their life by.
So it is note worthy that in our interactions with the older generation, they would surely have some solidified opinions based on genuine experiences but it is also incredibly important to recognise that although their experiences are valid, and can be a useful counsel that would save your life, you are also in the age of your life where not all perspectives are solidified yet. and should not be solidified immediately you receive counsel from the older generation.
So, if you are thinking of getting into tech, trying to trade crypto, or spending time creating content on social media and you find yourself having to struggle for validation from an older generation person, recognise the difference and respectfully (but in a smart way) take the advice as a very valid suggestion that may not need to be followed.
Many Nigerians live in a bubble …
I wouldn’t say this is necessarily a bad one, but not being aware of it can be dangerous if you continue to interact with this world through the lens of a bubble.
For example:
I was discussing the new JAMB cut off with a friend, and while I was pissed off at the drop in standard, he didn’t seem too alarmed by it. He had seen firsthand how subpar the general intelligence quality of people in certain regions in Nigeria is and is somewhat convinced that the drop in cut-off was to accomodate those people, and that if more people could get into the university they would become more positively influenced by the community and that may result in a better and more educated youth population. I do not agree this is a genuine solution but I might be speaking from privilege.
A simpler and sadder example is also the idea that because my next immediate goal or worry in life is to improve myself, and life of those around me careerwise. I might be stuck in the delusion of thinking that’s what everyone wants until I meet someone who had to halt their life because they lost a loved one with which they had planned an entire future. I mean, how do you deal with that and think of career development?
Maybe one day I will share how the tragic death of a product designer in Lagos pulled me out of a bubble I was in and shot me with the dose of adrenaline I needed to get my life together. But for now, recognise that your realities are in fact a bubble.
Culture forms habits that can be a dangerous trap…
There is so much wisdom in the saying that goes knowledge is power. And I’m not even talking about the ability to read or study something. I’m talking about having the awareness of something or that something is happening, and being able to take action on it.
I am confident that even right now, there are traits about you that have the tendency to ruin you, affect your relationships or cost you a measure of success and you have no idea what they are because they have been normalised (culturally).
We all grew up seeing how much our parents participated in social impact or serving their community (many may not have cared). Now that we are older, some of us have a perspective that the older generation failed us because instead of fighting for a greater nation, they were quick to complain than take action.
Now, it’s our turn, and respectfully speaking, we are still stuck in that culture of complaining over acting. Simple because that’s the culture or possibility we got exposed to. And many of us do it without realising what is actually happening.
Many of us are at this time not doing anything to contribute socially or give back to family talkless our community.
I was trying to explain to a friend that I grew up on a street where it was a norm for everyone to stop work, close shops, and cease movement on certain saturdays of the month and the entire neighbourhood focuses on cleaning. But now, that does not happen anymore.
Because of my friend’s cultural exposures built by experiences, he had the opinion that restarting such initiative would be futile because the areas cleaned would still get dirty.
It took a while for us to get to a resolution that taking action for change is more important than dwelling on how it can fail. Without realising it, he was speaking against the kind of change he was advocating for.
Some of you do that right now in your life and relationship. You are used to sleeping 12 hours but want the outcome of someone that only sleeps 6/7 hours.
You want to be treated fairly and forgiven but you never forgive and believe in vengance.
So there you go, which one is yours?
What have you had to stand against the older generation on?
What bubbles do you live in based on your upbringing, experiences or privileges? Do you believe all men are scum? Do you believe women will always cheat?
Finally, what are you holding on to that is culturally or experientially inherited but is not relevant for your evolution?
Cheers.
In summary
Sometimes it’s easier to build a better life simply by having better conversations.
It is better to learn and change early than to form wrong opinions and grow in that ignorance.
NB: I have created an “ Only admin can send messages” Community on WhatsApp so it’s easy for subscribers/readers of this newsletter to access specific templates that I have shared and also access Pixel Sandbox-specific content. If you would like to get updated directly on Whatsapp, Click here.
You can find templates without trying to remember what episode it was shared.
You can access and share my content from WhatsApp.
If you are already on my BC list and would prefer another medium, here’s an option.